Τhe Protocols of Scifion (as written by the novices of Galactica)
(completed with the employment of the well-known surrealistic technique of
automatic writing- hey, it is sci-fi, what do you expect?)
Introduction
Let’s skip formalisms because it is time to act, either you’re part of the problem or part of the solution, because we created the problem and now we give you the solution, kick out the jams croissant-lovers.
Let’s skip formalisms because it is time to act, either you’re part of the problem or part of the solution, because we created the problem and now we give you the solution, kick out the jams croissant-lovers.
Protocol 1
And we shall tag and we shall employ literate golems , even though they are golems, to teach us that you do not introduce a sentence with the conjunctive “and”. And then we shall kill them silently with the use of non lethal weapons , because they are golems and they eat fish out of ponds (and we continue using too many “and”s). And this is because we descend from country bumpkins, but we made big bucks thanks to our unparalleled trickery and we even bought a couple of conglomerates and keiretsus and we shape your fate because we can afford to buy your useless neighbors and even your pets in case you stand up against us
And we shall tag and we shall employ literate golems , even though they are golems, to teach us that you do not introduce a sentence with the conjunctive “and”. And then we shall kill them silently with the use of non lethal weapons , because they are golems and they eat fish out of ponds (and we continue using too many “and”s). And this is because we descend from country bumpkins, but we made big bucks thanks to our unparalleled trickery and we even bought a couple of conglomerates and keiretsus and we shape your fate because we can afford to buy your useless neighbors and even your pets in case you stand up against us
Protocol 2
And we shall fire and torture and recycle to positions of no power those who do not abide by our adhocratic rules and confiscate their property and impose a status of slow death upon them , while offering a spectacle to other golems, because we like to watch golems struggle and because we’ve read Foucault’s Discipline and Punish and were fascinated by the pictures (in fact, no communicative contagion without fascination and correct intonation) . Especially when they turn against each other because we imposed a cannibalistic state of affairs among them by immanentizing the master/slave dialectic and turning everything into a pseudo relativistic state of constant flux. And we shall tag everyone with funky colors just like we once tagged Hoyer. Because tagging is the easiest way to keep everybody in our loop. And we shall impose a state of passivity because we watch everything through remote viewing, thus non abiding golems will be confronted with severe punishments, involving watching Galactica episodes until their eyes bleed and until they grow tails and until there is no pop-corn left.
And we shall fire and torture and recycle to positions of no power those who do not abide by our adhocratic rules and confiscate their property and impose a status of slow death upon them , while offering a spectacle to other golems, because we like to watch golems struggle and because we’ve read Foucault’s Discipline and Punish and were fascinated by the pictures (in fact, no communicative contagion without fascination and correct intonation) . Especially when they turn against each other because we imposed a cannibalistic state of affairs among them by immanentizing the master/slave dialectic and turning everything into a pseudo relativistic state of constant flux. And we shall tag everyone with funky colors just like we once tagged Hoyer. Because tagging is the easiest way to keep everybody in our loop. And we shall impose a state of passivity because we watch everything through remote viewing, thus non abiding golems will be confronted with severe punishments, involving watching Galactica episodes until their eyes bleed and until they grow tails and until there is no pop-corn left.
Protocol 3
And we shall tell everyone that these protocols are propaganda so that they don’t take them seriously even when they are implemented to the letter, because there is nothing outside the text, so the text must be fulfilled , both on a macro as well as on a microwave level. And in order to enhance their legitimacy (through scarcity value) we shall spread the rumour that there is only one copy left and it is owned by the guy who runs a local cornershop, but undercover he’s your lover. But only for golems who buy into make-believe , as we and our protégés will keep on travelling and reveling. And we will found secret societies about which everyone knows, because even my dog enjoys the systemic function of secrecy. And we shall anoint housewives who have nothing better to do as black dames and their husbands as red dwarves and they will be charged with the onerous task of recruiting lambs to our feast .
And we shall tell everyone that these protocols are propaganda so that they don’t take them seriously even when they are implemented to the letter, because there is nothing outside the text, so the text must be fulfilled , both on a macro as well as on a microwave level. And in order to enhance their legitimacy (through scarcity value) we shall spread the rumour that there is only one copy left and it is owned by the guy who runs a local cornershop, but undercover he’s your lover. But only for golems who buy into make-believe , as we and our protégés will keep on travelling and reveling. And we will found secret societies about which everyone knows, because even my dog enjoys the systemic function of secrecy. And we shall anoint housewives who have nothing better to do as black dames and their husbands as red dwarves and they will be charged with the onerous task of recruiting lambs to our feast .
Protocol 4
And we shall keep on amending legislation as it is our goblins that instituted it in the first place in order to best serve our needs and goals, And we shall keep on inventing binarisms and force golems to stick to our empirical dialectic because game theory would not balance out otherwise. And we shall stabilize and destabilize social groupings through contagious communicative tricks and impose formalism on the occasion things get out of hand, which don’t as our radical finitude paradigm teaches so. But eventually, once the old regime will have been destabilized we shall reinstate order through our nouveau mysticoccultic agents provocateurs.
And we shall keep on amending legislation as it is our goblins that instituted it in the first place in order to best serve our needs and goals, And we shall keep on inventing binarisms and force golems to stick to our empirical dialectic because game theory would not balance out otherwise. And we shall stabilize and destabilize social groupings through contagious communicative tricks and impose formalism on the occasion things get out of hand, which don’t as our radical finitude paradigm teaches so. But eventually, once the old regime will have been destabilized we shall reinstate order through our nouveau mysticoccultic agents provocateurs.
Protocol 5
And we shall unleash our unbound libidinal energy that is magnified through electromagnetic fields to unwary golems who will rush to our sneak pit, because if we ran out of symbols that give meaning to golems’ miserable lives they would start thinking. And when we ultimately bite our own tail , bringing about the closure of our protocols, then our text will have come to life. In essence nothing will change for us (at least for worse), as we will emerge with even more bucks in our accounts and golems with less , as they were concerned more with harassing each other rather than turn against us (well, they can’t find us anyway, we’ve built far too many “bridGes around us, the BeeGees being one of them)
And we shall unleash our unbound libidinal energy that is magnified through electromagnetic fields to unwary golems who will rush to our sneak pit, because if we ran out of symbols that give meaning to golems’ miserable lives they would start thinking. And when we ultimately bite our own tail , bringing about the closure of our protocols, then our text will have come to life. In essence nothing will change for us (at least for worse), as we will emerge with even more bucks in our accounts and golems with less , as they were concerned more with harassing each other rather than turn against us (well, they can’t find us anyway, we’ve built far too many “bridGes around us, the BeeGees being one of them)
“ The term Golem denotes infantile, it is used throughout the protocols and
is retained by Mr. Twix
