5/03/2013

ARCHETYPICAL CUCUMBER: MAXIMO SCALZONNE REPORTS


Hello,

My name is Maximo Scalzonne, I am a fanatic Christian, Jewish mystic, Pope agent, Opus Pei, I dig puss, but also wouldn’t mind a mystic orgy, involving self-whipping.

I obtained a grant from DAAFT in order to conduct research into the old motion pictures, even before there were movies. I strongly believe (along with other believers, such as The Monkees) that there are archetypes that bind us all. In order to prove this, I am combining everything with everything and guess what…What? I don’t know yet, but I had to publish something in Opus Pei and Society, so I went through first year student notes and here’s what I came up with: The soul, when it leaves the body, transforms into a cucumber.  Here’s how I proved it: The ancient Summerians pictured the soul leaving the body as a giant cucumber , all green with tiny seeds. The ancient inhabitants of Valhalla portrayed the soul leaving the body as peeled cucumber, without the presence of the actual cucumber (just the skin). The ancient Egyptians saved ‘skin’ for afterlife, they believed that it is skin that unites them with after-life. They all converge on an isogony, that is isomorphic theogony, that is ‘cucumber’. I save the rest for the forthcoming issue of Anorexia Vol.18, as, by now, I’m stuffed with…cucumber!

PS: I’m also a pimp, I offer protection from inexisting threats (without you even knowing it) at a fair exchange- you do all the work, while I pray to Holy Cucumber for your cucumberian soul.

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